Poets and Saints
…and the moms who try to be both.Archive for Life with Toddlers
What We’ve Been Up To
Playing outside in the Fall sunshine
Our impromptu “flag-making” party. A request from the little one.
Finally, starting on the Halloween costume. We are trying to do a homemade version of Princess Lolly from Candyland. So that this..
…can be the model for my little girl’s costume. Crown done.
Now on to the dress.
Otherwise we’re enjoying the beauty of Fall and all the exciting things that come with it. Hopefully we’ll soon have a baby to announce with our impending adoption. Less than two weeks to go until the baby arrival and the date the costume needs to be done. Which will get here first? We’re wondering that same thing.
Falling Without Fear
The transition from baby to toddler is something of a metamorphosis. First they are this helpless, squirmy thing, spitting up all over themselves while smiling at the ceiling fan. Then they become a little person who throws their peas and dances in circles and tells you no when you try to join in. This dance is all about them.
Young children are particular. They change their minds. One day they like fettucine; the next day they won’t touch it. They are happy, then pleading; they dawdle, then run away from you when it is time to go. They say amen after the itsy bitsy spider, not realizing amen is saved for prayers. Perhaps the word amen is not only for the reverent times when our heads our bowed and eyes are closed, but it is for all of life. Amen to the joyous times. Amen to the showers. Amen to life.
The tomatoes are ripening and the vines are weighed low with the fruit. The first one off the vine is a small green one, compliments of my daughter. She picked it herself. I’m trying to teach her that it is only the red ones we pick–the rest we leave hanging to ripen in the sun. They are not ready–not yet–but she is. She runs in the patio door, her hands full of tomatoes, exuberant in her find. She hands me an orange one first. We have made progress. At least it is not green, or smashed, or half-eaten. I cut them up and give her a taste. More? she asks. That night she eats all of them off her plate. Amen for homegrown tomatoes.
Afterward, daddy chases her around the room and she comes barreling toward me, falling into my arms for safety. There is no hesitation when she falls, it is full body forward with no fear. There is something about that motion that is full of faith. Not the kind of faith that reconsiders, or hems and haws, or doubts for a moment, but is the fully trusting, never wavering, falling in mid-air kind of faith. It is the kind I’d like to have, and not just on my good days either, but even on the days when the news is bleak and the worry is bubbling up in me like a chemistry experiment gone awry. I want to fall, not hoping that someone will catch me, but instead, never doubting there was any other option but to be caught.
Amen for falling without fear. Amen for the faith of a child.
*This blog originally appeared in August 2007.
Pizza Making for Dummies
We love making pizza in our family. Not only is it delicious, but most other people like it too, so it’s great for company or delivering it to new moms, sick people or even freezing it for later (Sans toppings. More about that later.)
I used to make pizza very sporadically. I wasn’t very good at working with dough or getting the timing right when cooking it which made me feel like a pizza-making dummy. Frustrated that I couldn’t make a pizza like my mom (who is a pizza expert in my book), I started making pizza every Friday night a few years ago. Then when I felt like I had mastered it somewhat (no burned, undercooked, or totally terrible pizzas), I started inviting guests over to share our pizza night every few weeks. It’s now my standby for guests, so I never have to guess what to have when company comes or figure out a special menu. Pizza is great for everyone, unless your dieting and who’d want to do that when they’re invited out to eat?
HOW TO MAKE IT:
Starting after lunch, I put all my ingredients for the dough in the bread maker. It takes an hour and forty minutes on my machine to knead the dough. I call this the lazy man’s way to make pizza. My husband thinks it’s brilliant. I’ll take his word for it.
As soon as the dough is done, I take it out immediately. In the past when I’ve left it in the bread maker long past the beep, it gets sticky. Sometimes it gets sticky anyway which may have to do with the heat and humidity outside. I’m not sure. All I know is dough is finicky, kind of like kids. If this is the case I just knead more flour into the dough and divide it into four balls, which will later become four pizzas.
Then using some flour on my counter top, I roll the dough out into a circle. This is probably the hardest part and takes a lot of practice. If the dough starts to stick at any point in time, I add more flour. If the dough gets too thin and starts to break, I either re-roll it or add a patch of dough where the hole is to repair it. If the dough is totally falling apart, I just start over. Sometimes that’s the best thing to do. Resist the urge to throw the dough against the wall, which is what you’ll feel like doing.
If you’re using a pizza stone (which I highly recommend), put corn meal over the surface to keep it from sticking. If you’re using plain old pizza pans, use shortening over the surface of the pan. It’s a waste to do all that work if your pizza is going to stick to the pan.
It’s fun to let your kids make a “baby pizza” too. This is my daughter’s version above. Just give them some dough to smash and let them make it into a small round. Have them add the toppings they like even if they do what my daughter did: put all the toppings on and then add the sauce, right on top of everything. It’s their own creation and they’ll be proud of it.
Sometimes I like to throw and twirl my dough in the air like a real pizza maker. But I do not recommend this. Problem number one: You’ll drop it. Problem number two: You’ll break the dough with your hands. Problem three: You’ll have to start over. I have experience with this. DON’T DO IT–EVEN WHEN YOU’RE FEELING ORNERY.
THE TOPPINGS: DON’T SKIMP ON THE CHEESE
Once I get the pizza rolled I move it to the pan and add all the necessary ingredients. I do make my own sauce, but store bought is fine too. It just depends on what you like.
One thing I’ve learned about cheese is essential. Put a full two cups on every pizza. I used to skimp on the cheese and then couldn’t figure out what was wrong with my pizza. Then one day I went to a local pizza joint that makes the best deep dish pizza. I saw someone in the back grating this enormous pile of mozzerella cheese. It was like a cheese mountain–it was so huge. And it suddenly occurred to me that I had been a cheese-whimp. I didn’t want to use a whole 2 cup bag of cheese on one pizza, but I decided to try it. The result was scrumptious, cheesy and wonderful. Forget about calories, fat content and your high cholesterol and just pour the whole bag on it. I’m guessing that all of the major pizza joints put on lots of cheese which makes the pizza extra good. Just think of how much calcium you’ll be getting! My advice: Don’t skimp on the cheese department. It does make a difference.
As far as the rest of the toppings go, it’s really up to you. If you get the dough, sauce and cheese right, you can’t really go wrong on the rest of it. Unless you like anchovies. There is something really wrong about anchovies on pizza.
Then bake for 16-20 minutes in a 400 degree oven, until the cheese starts to brown and the crust turns golden. (Check on it often!) You’ll get the hang of finding out the perfect time in your own oven. Then enjoy some hot delicious pizza compliments of your own hard work. Then give yourself a pat on the back. Or a good massage. Or a bubble bath. Because after all that, you’ll need it.
(P.S. I like to freeze my pizza dough for quicker prep on busier Fridays. I don’t think it’s quite as good as fresh and it doesn’t rise as much, but it’s still a quick alternative. Don’t add toppings until you’re read to bake. Adding toppings before freezing only make the pizza mushier in my opinion and harder to determine when the pizza is done. Use a stone to get a crispier crust too.)
You know what’s best of all? Pizza is easy to share with others and makes a perfect night with company. Just don’t forget to wipe the cheese off your chin when company comes over.
Goodbye July, Welcome August!
Summer’s beautiful days don’t last long and we’ve been soaking up as much time outdoors as possible. It’s almost a shame that we pack so much into three months: outdoor concerts and festivals, farmer’s markets, pool and splash park fun, zoo trips, picnics, bike riding….the list goes on. All this fun means there is very little time to be bored. Just plenty of time to watch the flaming colors of my flowers, sit in my hammock and enjoy a red ripe tomato fresh off the vine. Ahh, summer.
My little fish standing directly under a spray of water at the splash park.
This one makes me feel old. My baby riding a bike! I don’t care if there are training wheels still on there, I’m going to go in a corner and sob my heart out.
Loving the farmer’s market booth for children. Art activity + fresh produce = one great morning.
Summer brings new life and new nephews to hold. Welcome to the world baby! I just want to pinch those cheeks and hold that little tiny bundle of love. My heart is melting…
That’s me up on that rope. Just a little hobby of mine in my spare time. (Okay. I couldn’t do that even if I were on the ground with a crew of spotters helping me. Apparently my daughter was convinced of the same thing, because she told me that mommy could not do that, but daddy COULD.) Our city’s first “Buskerfest” celebrated the street performer. We enjoyed balloon sculpting, moving statues, stilt walkers, jugglers, live music, taiko drumming, hip hop dancing and more. All for free.
Enjoying blueberries from our local picking patch, under an umbrella, in the middle of our sidewalk. Beautiful summer…please don’t end.
Moving on Up
We finally got our daughter moved into her new room. The mattress set was delivered Saturday and she was so excited about it we decided to ride the wave and have her start sleeping there. There is still her closet to move and the canopy to finish. The canopy bed is my old one and I still like it as much as I did as a child. The actual cloth canopy is long gone, so I’m thinking about making my own. But here it is for now…in all its purple glory!
Now on to other fun things we’ve been doing this summer. This…
this…
and this.
The summer of silliness.
Fun and Free Family Activities
What is it about summer that makes me want to lay by the pool everyday? Of course it would help if I had a pool (and I’m not counting the kiddie one). Since I can’t be at the pool, I look for summer activities that are kid-friendly and low cost. Here are a couple ideas I’ve learned that have helped me plan plenty of summer fun to keep the little one from getting bored:
1. Come up with a “Family Fun” calendar. We use ical, where we can color code each individual calendar (my calendar, my husband’s calendar, our family fun calendar, etc.) and keep track of events. Usually our newspaper comes out with a “summer event guide” that lists all festivals, art fairs, town celebrations, and more. We use this resource, circle the events that interest us and then plug them into our calendar. We have found this essential for keeping track of free events. When we rely on our memory, we usually forget and miss the event. I can’t emphasize how important it is to come up with a calendar that lists these events next to your other daily calendar. You can check out ours here but please note that not all activities are free. My husband takes any and all activities that look interesting and sticks them on our family fun calendar.
Here are some ideas for free events to take advantage of this summer:
2. Free concerts: These our great for our family! Many of the bands play oldies that are fun to dance to and there are families of all ages there. The music is usually louder than the kids are and we can enjoy the entertainment as we play in the grass.
3. Free festivals, art fairs, town celebrations: We usually enjoy just walking around, avoiding the junk food (if we can) and watching people, booths, street performers and more.
4. Farmer’s Market: These are springing up everywhere in our town. Some even include musicians, children’s activities, free food samples and more. Be aware that farmer’s markets sometimes “evolve” as the summer goes by. They can start out pretty bare and then once harvest hits, be full of yummy things to eat. I’ve been surprised how much my daughter enjoys going to the farmer’s market. Maybe it’s the free samples of fruit we’ve gotten or the library’s booth where she can do a quick craft. Either way, it’s a great way to spend an afternoon or evening where there’s nothing to do. Plus it encourages us to buy locally and enjoy the delicious and fresh local produce and fruits.
5. Library: This one might seem a no-brainer, but I often think that people go to the library less in the summer than other times of the year. Our library offers a great summer reading program, even for babies and toddlers. We got some amazing resources last year including a free CD and a book of finger plays. Plus my daughter read enough books to earn herself a free book. Our library also offers free programs, like a Clifford day, a puppet program, a mud sculpture art class and more.
6. Beach: You don’t have to travel to ocean to enjoy a beach. Children enjoy the simplest of beaches, even next to small ponds. Last summer I discovered Fox Island County Park had a small beach, perfect for building a sand city, sand rivers and pools. It does cost us two dollars to get in this park, but it still cheap fun for our family. There are also turtles, frogs, birds, walking paths, and a nature center to enjoy.
There are so many other great things to do in the summer too! Playgrounds, splash parks, biking on the trails and more. The best thing is that we can have lots of fun for very little to no money. Enjoy the summer!
Splash Night Family Fun
We recently had a very exciting night of family fun called Splash Night. Of course Splash Night conjures images of water all over my floor and wet pants and all sorts of things that don’t sound appealing to mothers and fathers. (It did not turn out this way, I just have an active imagination.) For a three-year-old, Splash Night is pure fun, loads of laughs and no whining. I love no whining! And the evening turned out remarkably mess-free (besides a few drops on the floor). An easy night of family fun…swim caps and bathing suits are optional!
Here’s what we did:
Sink or float activity: Get a bucket of water, and various objects and try to guess whether they will sink or float. We used an empty glass jar, a tupperware full of water, a bar of soap, an apple, a key and a penny. It’s a great science lesson too.
Bobbed for apples: This was my daughter’s idea. She asked me a few months ago if we could bob for apples (It was like the middle of the day or something…I was like, what? right now?) So I finally allowed apple bobbing as part of splash night. Guess what? After a few tries, she got it!
Made colored water and drank it. My daughter drank all of her water which was purple. What is it about purple water that makes kids want to drink it? Is clear water really so bad?
Created “water colors”: We drew on paper towels with markers and then misted them with water and let them dry. We used Crayola washable markers and they worked great. The colors spread nicely after we sprayed them with water. This activity was my favorite. I can’t draw anyways, so when the colors spread out the drawing instantly had that “artsy” flair.
Raced homemade boats: We took small tupperware, made a sail and then raced them in the bathtub by blowing on our boats. I only got beat once. I think it was all that good flute training. Or maybe I got lucky.
Pet Store Visit: Is it a fact of life that all children like pet stores? I think so. My daughter is ga-ga over pets these days, so we visted our store to find pets that splash. We also found plenty that don’t, but that was part of the fun.
My Thursday Inspiration
I have been involved in a great bible study this year called Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). It is an interdenominational bible study that meets at various churches thoughout the world. As it so happens, one BSF group meets at my church and I am just finishing up my first year of study which was on the life of Moses.
This has been my first bible study since having children and I was a little unsure about how I as going to keep up with the lessons. That sounds dumb to me since I only have one child. How hard can it be to find 15 minutes a day? But I am surprised how busy my days can be even with one child. Anyway, I have found various ways to manage it, by carving out a little quiet time during the afternoon or later in the evening. Thursday is the day we meet and get a chance to discuss our week’s lesson in a discussion group. Then we listen to a lecture on that day’s lesson. It’s a chance to worship and learn about God, get some soul-refreshment and a break, and lets my daughter have some great Bible learning time in BSF’s children’s program, where she learns the same scripture that the adults study. I have been very impressed with the kids’ program and my daughter loves it. It’s very structured, yet creative and has a purpose. (On a side note: It’s only for ages 2 through 6 for the daytime program.)
Next year we are studying the book of John–my favorite gospel. I took a January term class on it in college, but since that was more than ten years ago, I am in need of a good refresher course.
If anyone is interested in finding out more, you can attend an introductory class to find out what it’s all about. There are also evening classes and men’s classes, but there are class size limitations for both adults and children. Many people sign up in May for next Fall’s study, but if you choose to wait until September you might still get in (that’s how I did it). For those of you who live around here, I can give you more information about the class and introductory dates.
I only have a few more weeks left until BSF goes on summer break, but I am already thinking of a few spiritual books I want to read this summer…
- All I need is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans by Susanna Foth Aughtmon (I am currently in a book club for this one, so we’ll finish it this summer.)
- Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper
And then of course there’s my summer fun books that I read too (more on that later). Not that spiritual books can’t be fun, but I think you know what I mean! Oh, I can’t wait for summer.
The dilemma of being a Stay At Home Mom
Although there are some things I miss about working, most of it I do not: the long hours, the job expectations, having to juggle so many responsibilities. What I do miss about working is the adult contact, having people say “good job”or “thank you” when something has been completed well and seeing tangible results every so often. There are very few people saying “good job” in the world of mothering and the results are so long term, it’s hard to see if I’m making any progress. On the other hand there are so many good things in my days at home–things I’d never get to do or experience if I worked–those small moments are the ones I’m thankful for.
I love having freedom in my days. Today I can go to the zoo, work in the sunshine, take a bike ride, or whatever I want. Okay, not whatever I want. I must work around my daughter’s schedule and moods, but it sure beats typing on the computer when there’s an 80 degree day in April. (Ironically as I write this, it is 81 degrees and I’m working on my computer. But I did spend the entire morning outside working on our yard).
I also recognize that living on one income is not possible for everyone. There are many people who would love to stay home, but cannot make it on one income. I wish that were not the case. I wish everyone had the option to have one parent at home, but I know that is not reality. This is not a blog to make the working moms feel bad or the stay at home moms feel superior. There are sacrifices with either choice. There are reasons for every choice. And you can be a good mom in doing whatever you choose. It is not the choice so much as it is the living out of that choice. There are days that I am not a very good stay at home mom. But I know there is grace too, because I’ll never be a perfect mom either way.
Motherhood takes so much time and effort, I have doubts about how well I could really do both full time work and mothering. I admire moms who juggle so many responsibilities and am amazed at how many of them seem to handle it with great ease. But after my own experience with working part time, I recognize the stress that it creates when I’m forced to split my time between being an excellent wife and mother and doing my job well. I didn’t really like who I was when I was doing both.
My choice to stay home meant we had to be brutal with our budget when we went to one income. We cut out YMCA memberships and nice vacations. We pared down our clothes budget and house budgets. I got a cheaper cell phone plan, cheaper insurance plans, had our house refinanced, and stopped eating out except on rare occasions or when we have a gift certificate. You name it, we probably slashed it. In the process, we saved a ton of money. Our budget cuts were bloody, but I enjoy life just as much now as I did before. Maybe even more.
But it also meant changing my habits. I now shop regularly at the Goodwill for clothes and toys. I turn down social requests that involve eating out or going to event that costs too much money. We still have budgeted one special night out a month (which includes paying a babysitter). The hard part is saving that special occasion for an occasional date with my husband. We get asked to do so many other things (fun things, like talking to other adults!), it’s difficult to turn people down because we can’t afford to do both. Learning to say no is the hardest part of this whole stay at home thing. Say no to the shirt at Target. Say no to dinner out. Say no so you can say yes. That’s the irony of the choice.
I realize that our whole lifestyle and the precarious nature of living this way means relying on God to provide for us. I realize that having so little money often means that our house of cards could fall at any moment. I can’t rely on any job to provide for my needs, I must rely on God. There’s no easy way to do that. So I pray and trust and try to find joy in my days the way my daughter does. She doesn’t worry about tomorrow, so why do I? It’s not easy to have faith like a child. But this is part of the decision too: Having faith and not regretting what I didn’t choose.
Zoo Day
We went to the zoo for the first time this season. We gorged ourselves on sunshine, exotic animals, and family time.
It was a good relaxing day, and provided some much needed family fun.
Plus, our zoo got the prestigious ranking of 5th in the nation in Parenting magazine. Not bad for a small city zoo up against the big city ones! It makes me feel glad to have so many opportunities so close and to make use of what we have in this town.
Home is all about making use of the resources you’re given, whether you live in the city or country. It’s about embracing those opportunities and creating them into special family memories.
